I don't drive. I spent a few years trying to pass my test from 2012, I failed my test twice, and I ran out of funds. I was a nervous driver, I could drive, but I think the social anxiety part of me let me down. That may sound ridiculous to some people, but I spent more time worrying about the fact I was in a car trying to make small talk for an hour, than anything.
I had panic attack after panic attack, more of less every single time the day of my driving lesson came around. I would go to the toilet about 20 times whilst waiting for my instructor to arrive. I would pace back and fourth, have to sit in the garden to cool down and catch my breath. My heart would be pounding, fluttering, i'd be feeling dizzy and light headed. It wasn't the driving I was scared of, I loved it!
One day I got into the car, and I was shaking noticeably. This was the first time I have felt anyone being able to notice. I had my foot on the clutch, ready to go, and my whole leg was shaking; it was as if I had no strength in my leg to control it. This was the worst my anxiety had ever been during my driving lesson sessions. I started crying, and it felt so embarrassing.
So after I failed a second time, the reason I felt it was even more gutting was because I knew I had to go through it all again, all the lessons, and the 'social interaction sessions'.
I know one day i'll pick it up again, I want to feel that sense of achievement and know that it was worth all the hard work I put in, in the first place. Aside from my own personal experience, I do think driving isn't for everyone. Hey, walking is a good excuse for exercise too.
Pictures are not my own
